singapore

Well, I'm right back where I started my Asian adventure - Singapore.

All that remains to be done is to get pissed at the expense of British Airways on my 13 hour flight back to London. I'm in need of a drink after my Air Asia flight from Bangkok - this region's equivalent of Ryanair, only worse. You would have thought for an international flight lasting two and a half hours they might just have on sale at least a can of beer, but no. The strongest thing they had was Liptons Lemon Ice Tea. I was almost tempted to jump out of the emergency exit. What is society coming to when you can't get pissed in the air? It's what flying was invented for...

phangan buri

My hotel for the last leg of this rather epic holiday has been just what I needed.

The Phangan Buri resort is clean, comfortable, modern and set just off the beach. It affords stunning views, a lovely pool to relax and chug beer in, and is very affordable. My room contains a huge bed, peaceful air conditioning, a tv with an extensive sattelite network and even a computer with internet access. At this stage of my break, where all I want to do is relax, it is perfect.

The crowd staying here has predominantely been a young one - drawn to the island by the full moon party. There are a lot of Australians, which is understandable given that it is not expensive to get here from down under and doesn't take long either. It has been another group of travellers who have intrugued me during my stay.

I have been struck by how it would appear the majority of British travellers here do not seem to be on holidays or six month to a year breaks. Most seem to be university students away for three months over the summer. And there are a hell of a lot of them. As I listened to their extensive travel plans, I made a mental note never to believe any tales of student debt woe ever again. I don't recall such trips being commonplace when at uni, but as I reminded myself today, I started 12 years ago . We now have a situation where people can borrow more - assuming Daddy isn't paying - and indulge themselves more. The financial consequences can be worried about later. For now, it's all about a daily diet of sunshine and Singha beer.

Some of these people are pricks, quite frankly. As I listened to them talk inane shite whilst splashing around in the pool - most of which consisted of nothing more than a description of how drunk they had been the previous evening - I wondered if I had been as obnoxious when I was a student. Then I recalled things like a web site I once ran that was dedicated to stories about getting drunk. Perhaps I was. I am sure, however, that I was not as stupid as some of them. I overheard one guy regailing other people in the pool with the story of how he spent three years at college, from which he emerged with one 'A' level - in media studies. He is now on a 'gap year' before going to university, which considering his academic record, probably isn't what most people would classify as being a university at all. Wanker.

Ok, ok. I'll stop ranting now. Maybe I'm just bitter about being 30 and having the best years of my life behind me...

Tonight (Saturday) is the last one of this trip. Tomorrow I catch a boat to Ko Samui, a plane to Bangkok, another to Singapore, where I then fly back home to blighty.

full moon party

Ah, the full moon party on Ko Pha Ngan. An infamous, globally famous monthly brazen bash featuring drug fuelled delirium and drunken debauchery.

I had been once before four years ago and had, from what I can actually remember, a great time. Ahead of my second visit, I felt a sense of excitement and also some nervousness. I was looking forward to dancing the night away on the beach, but was also a little bit weary because of all the tales of misfortune that have accompanied all the positive experiences of this event.

You could write a book about all the bad things that have happened here. People going missing on the way home to their hotel. Bags being slashed with knives and personal belongings stolen. Boats en route from Ko Samui sinking and people drowning. Drugs being planted and the police carting people to the cells or the cashpoint. There are certainly more than a few warnings that come with attending the full moon party.

I suppose all of this stuff just has to be viewed in context. More than 10,000 people cram onto the beach here every month for this party. Out of that number some will get too drunk and get into trouble. Some will take drugs and get caught. The obvious thing to do is just to keep your wits about you.

The amount of people who risk taking drugs at the party surprises me. Although ecstasy is synonymous with this kind of event, I personally would not wish to do anything that put me at risk of ever, ever setting foot in a Thai jail.

Drinking moves onto a whole new level at this party. It is not so much binge drinking, more an orgy of alcoholic excess. Obviously the beer is cheap. And the locals also literally sell other drinks by the bucket load. For just a couple of pounds you can get your own bucket filled with half a bottle of spirits, red bull and coke. You then walk round with your bucket, drinking the contents through straws. It's quite a laugh, but it's also a lot of booze to be served in one go. It obviously gets drunk a lot quicker than if you were buying shot by shot, making it perfectly easy to drink half a bottle of spirits in less than an hour without really noticing. Until you're puking up in the sand or passed out, which was not an unusual sight at this party.

As I said, it pays to keep your wits about you and play it safe. I had no hassle or problems from anyone, and all in all had a marvellous time. I arrived at the party around 10pm and was still there at 7am the next morning. The time passed easily. It is impossible not to be captivated by the sights and sounds of this event. All sorts of music are pumped out across the Gulf of Thailand and you are never far from something that catches the eye.

The sun had come up by the time I left, which is a must-see if you ever go to this party. As I trudged back to the hotel, I noticed I was covered in luminous paint. Quite how that happened, I have no idea.

ko pha ngan

I got outrageously pissed on Tuesday night - my final day on Ko Samui before heading over to the island of Ko Pha Ngan. It was a fun night, during which I was befriended by a group of travellers from Gloucester. Some of them were over here for their fifth time. There is definitely something about the place - it's beauty, it's atmosphere - that is compulsive and addictive.

The boat to Ko Pha Ngan takes roughly an hour, and there can be few journeys in the world that are as picturesque as this one. I felt very relaxed as I looked out across the clear blue sea. I had a hotel booked for the next four nights and could look forward to doing as much, or little, as I wanted. I reserved online a room at the same hotel I stayed in here four years ago. It was a place I had very fond memories of. I recalled its affordable comfort, beautiful location and friendly staff. This would be the perfect way to end my trip, and I even splashed out on a premium room with a few little extras to make the experience that much better.

After a quick spot of lunch, I caught a taxi to the hotel. It felt good to be back. When I arrived, I presented a copy of my e-mailed reservation confirmation and waited to be handed the requisite forms that need to be filled in. For some reason the receptionist appeared concerned, and called over to another member of staff. Eventually, after lots of frantic talking in Thai, they hit me with a bombshell. There was no record of my reservation and the hotel was fully booked. I just laughed at them - they were holding in their hands an e-mail I had received confirming that I had a room. What they then claimed is that I had not booked it through the official means - that the e-mail address was not theirs, it was someone pretending to work on behalf of the hotel. Apparently other people had fallen victim to this scam. The manager urged me to ring my credit card company to check no money had been taken. Scarcely able to believe what was going on, I duly rang Halifax. No money had been fraudulently taken by this hotel or anyone else. While this was a relief, I still faced the problem of this hotel being fully booked. On the night of the full moon party. A night when thousands descend on Ko Pha Ngan and accommodation is scarce...

I sat with my head in my hands wondering how on earth this had happened. The whole point of arranging a room for four days well in advance was to prevent this. I did not know what to do or where to go. To be fair, the hotel staff were very helpful. The manager gave me a big bottle of water, put her arm around me and suggested a way forward. I could stay in a room for the afternoon to rest and shower, go to the party and then check into my own room as soon as one became free the next day. In the circumstances, it seemed the only option I had...

I was taken up to a room close and similar to the one one I stayed in four years ago. It didn't look like it had been cleaned since. The bed sheets were dirty and smelt foisty. The air conditioning was more noisy than an aircraft hanger. Would I actually want to stay here anyway?

At around 5pm I headed down to get some dinner. Food is always comforting when things go a bit pear shaped on travel. As I ordered a beer, I reflected on the contrast between the first time I had been here and now. Back in 2004 I sat here for three days and marvelled at the clear blue sea, knocking back beer after beer with my companion Raj. Now I was without a room, and a group of chavs were playing some utterly awful rap music on the cd player. Behind me were a group of Aussie guys, who were also incredibly irritating. Virtually every single sentence they spoke contained the word 'fucking'. Pass the fucking ketchup. What time does the fucking party start? I want a fucking beer. I need the keys to the fucking room.

I'm the last person in the world to offer lectures on bad language. What annoyed me about these guys was that the over-use of swear words devalues them and renders them meaningless. If I say I've got fucking pissed, it means seriously pissed. Not some run of the mill night. Likewise, I try my best to call people cunts only when it is absolutely appropriate so it carries impact. Therefore I would like to say that these three antipodean gentlemen were, without any doubt whatsoever, complete and utter cunts.

After an average meal, I decided to try and find somewhere else to stay. The atmosphere and everything else was just not right here. What worked for me in 2004 wasn't doing so in 2008. If I had to do without a hotel tonight then fine - I would be at the party all night and could save some money.

Five minutes later I stumbled across a funky and modern looking hotel on the beach. A lively crowd were gathered by the pool and the facilities looked excellent. I went to reception and inquired about getting a room. They could only offer me a very basic air conditioned room for tonight, but after that I could move into another with better facilities - and all for less than I would have paid at the place I tried to book. I paid there and then and checked in. After all that crap I was now in a better hotel, paying less and could go off to the party...

perfection

Ko Samui was not on my list of destinations when I set out on this trip. In fact I had planned to be in Vietnam by now.

I first came here in 2004, and was absolutely blown away by the place. The beach was unlike most I had ever been to before, the bars were crazy and everything was just brilliant. For those reasons, I had been reluctant to come back. I just didn't think the second visit could ever live up to the first. It would be like a veteran footballer going back to a club where he enjoyed rich success in his youth out of nostalgia. Or something like that...

As a rule, I don't go back to the same places I have been on holiday to. There is simply too much in the world to see. But Ko Samui had a draw to me that has been impossible to shake off, and boy am I now grateful for that.

The reason I opted against Vietnam was because I would like to visit the country properly, rather than dash around a few places in a week. As I have also said, I'm pretty fed up with moving around every day and the constant hassle of arranging appropriate travel and accommodation. A period of getting up in my own time and doing nothing is just what I need right now.

I'm staying in Chaweng, which is the busiest and some would argue most beautiful stretch of beach on Samui. It is absolutely stunning. This part of the world has its critics, most notably holier than thou travellers who bemoan the expensive hotels and the presence of Starbucks and McDonalds. It is true this area is, in parts, commercialised and pricey. But there are unfortunately very few parts of the world where you are far away from access to a Big Mac, and nobody says you have to eat there. Plus Samui is also absolutely teeming with great locally owned and run bars and restaurants.

The overnight train to Bangkok en route to coming here was outrageous fun. I got completely shit faced in the restaurant car with a group of American travellers, who were all good value. We sat there for ages glugging back beer after beer - all topped off with generous pourings of cheap Thai whisky. Even the bar staff joined in. As the wind blew in from outside as we sped through the jungle, I grinned widely and thought 'this beats the Marquis of Granby'...

Conversation with the yanks ranged from the drunken inane to the intelligent. All were Democrats, all Obama supporters and all upset by the damage that had been done in recent years to America's reputation. From what they were saying, it does appear some people do take out their opinions about Iraq and Bush on Americans in general when they are overseas. This is ironic considering nobody really does the same against British travellers. Anyway, all agreed much would change should Obama win in November. I was interested to learn much of big business in America thinks the same way. The Democrats are currently pulling in nine times as much corporate cash as the Republicans. At first this surprised me, but when you think about it a bit more, it starts to make sense. If you are CEO of a company with ambitions to expand your business overseas and make more money, who would you rather have as the leader of your country? A Republican associated with unpopular wars? Or a fresh-faced, youthful Democrat with massive appeal to people under the age of 35? It ain't, as they say, rocket science. Obama wins in November, and then we all start eating Big Macs, drinking Starbucks coffee and supporting the New York Yankees. Or at the very least some people instinctively feel less of a revulsion towards worldwide American brands.

Anyway, after getting solidly pissed I passed out in my bed around midnight. The next thing I knew, it was 7am and we were pulling into Bangkok. Sleeper trains in this part of the world are a fantastic way to travel. I just love laying in bed and looking out the window at the surroundings - preferably with a glass of whisky in my hand. And it's dirt cheap - roughly a tenner - saving on accommodation costs for the evening.

From Bangkok Station, I caught a cab to the airport. As is typically the case in the Thai capital, on several occasions I thought we were going to have a high speed crash. The driver - when not trying to drive as fast as humanly possible - asked me quite a lot about football. He asked who I supported, and when I told him he just burst out laughing. Tosser. He was a Man United fan...

The flight over to Samui only took an hour. From the moment I arrived I instantly knew I had made the right decision to come here. The sun is shining and I'm now off to the beach...

ko samui

I'm now on the gorgeous Thai island of Ko Samui. An update of why I'm here and how I got here will follow, but right now I'm having far too much fun to sit in front of a computer...

laos

Have you ever got off to the wrong start with someone and then come to regret it? Because that is how I would describe the brief period of time I spent in Vientiane, capital of Laos...

I arrived there on Friday morning after a pleasant and efficient flight from Cambodia, which thankfully hadn't been affected by the torrential rain of the day before. My first impressions were favourable - there were no pushy taxi drivers harassing people at the airport and, thankfully, a driver was waiting to whisk me to my hotel, which meant at last one of my attempted online reservations had worked for this city.

After I checked into my hotel - a decent enough place but with a window overloooking a generator - I went for a stroll. Vientiane is a very, very small place for a capital, but that is supposed to be part of its charm. Billed as a friendly city with old French colonial buildings bustling over the Mekong river, I was looking forward to my weekend here.

After ten minutes or so wandering around - which was enough to walk around a substantial part of the main bit of town - I began to feel very flat. All there seemed to be was the odd non-descript hotel here, a bar there and so on. The grey sky, looking like it was going to dump yet more rain on me, probably didn't help. I had not been here more than an hour and yet I already hated it.

With nothing better to do, I went for a beer by the Mekong. This is supposed to be one of the best things to do in Vietiane, but it was more like having a drink by the Thames Estuary than in South East Asia. The water looked filthy and polluted and I felt miserable.

After about 15 minutes, the inevitable happened and it started to chuck it down. When the rain comes in this part of the world, believe me it comes. Within a short while the bar was practically flooded, and I sat despondent reflecting on the situation. It was Friday afternoon and yet I was not scheduled to leave until Sunday evening. What the fuck was I supposed to do here all weekend? There appeared to be little of any great interest to go and see, and if the weather was going to be this bad I would have to stay inside anyway. At that moment, all the despondency I had felt over the last 48 hours engulfed me and I decided enough was enough. There would be no more moving from place to place every other day, spending ages in internet cafes trying to organise the next trip and fretting about things.

As soon as the rain eased, I marched - or paddled more like - to a travel agent and booked myself on a train to Bangkok leaving Saturday evening. Bollocks to this - I had paid 20 quid for my hotel room that night, but didn't care. I was going back to Thailand and to the beaches.

Having made my decision to leave Vientiane, I felt almost liberated. After the rain finally went away, the sun came out and I went round a few bars. The place then started to grow on me a little. I had dinner in a lovely old French restaurant, and it was a relief to eat different food that, hopefully, wasn't going to send me to the shitter six times a day. I gorged on steak au poivre with frites, washed down with pastis, and felt a million times better in this little corner of France in South East Asia. After dinner, I retired to my bed and watched tv in the comfort of knowing I didn't have to get up early in the morning. Was I, after all, making a mistake leaving here so soon?

I got up at 11.30am on Saturday, and went for a walk. It was a lovely sunny day - utterly different to yesterday - and Vientiane looked a lot better for it. I began to be won over by the place. It is cute and charming in its own way, a mixture of different cultures and with a rich history. I had clearly been a bit too quick to judge it, too hasty to blame it for the rain and my general mood of the last couple of days.

In the afternoon, I was diven to the Thai border to catch my train to Bangkok. As we drove through the streets of Vietiane, which contained some great old buildings, I resolved to come back to Laos. The country is supposed to be the most relaxing to travel round in the region, and I had not done it justice by anyone's stretch of the imagination. The cost of coming here for such a short period of time and leaving so early was not insignificant, either.

After crossing the river into Thailand, I waited for the train in a great little bar opposite Nong Khai station. It was peaceful, the sun was shining brightly and the beer was ice cold. I may have been hasty leaving Laos, but I was not sad to be heading back to Thailand...

flooding

Siem Reap has been lashed with an incredible rain storm this evening. I have never seen anything like it before in my entire life.

Literally within minutes of it being calm and even a bit sunny, the winds came in and then brutal rain began lashing down. A lot of the roads are now flooded.

As I sit confined to my hotel, a couple of thoughts occur to me. Will my flight to Laos in the morning still run? And, even if it does, where the hell am I going to stay? After two days of painful online trying, I have still been unable to find a room that isn't either at the rock bottom or top end of the accommodation scale.

temples and stuff

Today I ventured just outside Siem Reap to the Temples of Angkor, capital of Cambodia's ancient Khemer empire.

The temples - built between the 9th and 13th centuries - are the reason so many tourists are beginning to flock to this part of the world and why Siem Reap is visibly becoming more developed.

Set in beautiful green countryside that was strangely reminiscent of England - apart from the monkeys running around, obviously - the temples are what remains of a lost city that was once home to one million people at a time when London had a population of 50,000.

Pictures do tend to speak louder than words with trips like this. And all I will add is that I had a pleasant time - apart from when it pissed it down. Another annoyance was the constant pestering from people trying to sell souvenirs, refreshments, t shirts and other shit. If these people could take no for an answer, I wouldn't mind. But they can't. And it is fucking annoying.

I have been feeling a bit down over the last 24 hours. Part of that has been due to illness - a meal last night has caused more trips to the bog than any I can remember. Part of it has been the bad weather here. And another, I guess, has been a bit of loneliness.

My mood also tends to pick up when I know I have the next few days' accommodation and travel sorted out. While having flexibility with my schedule has many advantages, there are down sides. These being that a lot of time spent in one place can be spent arranging to get to another in humid internet cafes with painfully slow connections. Another is that booking accommodation is not often as easy as it might sound. For example, I e-mailed a hotel in Vientiane, Laos, two days ago to try and book a room but have had no reply. Ditto with another. This is both frustrating and time consuming.

Right now I yearn to be back on the beach with absolutely nothing to do...

siem reap

Checked out of my hotel this morning. It had been a clean, decent and affordable place to stay. Although I was slightly amused by some of the rules they set (see above) which made it clear I was personally responsible for private affairs in my room 'such as girl, drug usage or other illegal activity of yours.' Quite.

Phnom Penh had been one hell of an experience. But I wasn't disappointed to be leaving today and heading to Cambodia's second city - Siem Reap.

There are various buses that link the two places, but I opted for a bit more comfort during the5-6 hour journey and instead went by car. My hotel did a pretty good deal for me that involved me staying with their other hotel in Siem Reap, and being driven there.

It was quite a journey. We set off at 9am - they had originally wanted to go at 7, but I refused and argued with them - and made our way out of Phnom Penh. Car journeys here are an, erm, experience. Cars and motorbikes seem to drive on whatever side of the road they feel like, and there were several occasions in the first half hour of our journey when I thought we were going to crash. It wasn't quite up there with the full-on Bangkok taxi ride experience, but it wasn't far off.

As we got into the Cambodian countryside, the roads got wider and the traffic was quieter. I now felt more relaxed and started to enjoy the scenery. In the car with me and the driver was the owner of the hotel, who was a good laugh and spoke good English. He even revealed he had been an interpreter for the United Nations when they had troops stationed in Cambodia for the first post-Pol Pot elections in 1993.

The conversation en route was mixed and entertaining. I was asked my opinion about why England had not qualified for Euro 2008, Tony Blair, cars and the cost of prostitutes in the UK compared to here - a subject, I will quickly add, he knew far more about than me.

It was also interesting to get an insight into the history of the places we drove through. We are approaching the rainy season here, and that makes it make or break time for some people. Lots of rain means lots of rice. A dry 'wet' period could spell disaster in some parts of Cambodia - hence the sight of UN trucks on some of the roads we passed along.

We stopped off for lunch in the town of Kompong Thom. It was a bit surreal. This place was in the middle of nowhere and I was the only westerner there. As I ate a pretty horrible beef noodle dish quite badly with chopsticks, my hosts joked that they were tempted to recommend to me a local speciality but decided against. I asked what it was. 'Deep fried spiders,' was the response...

We arrived in Siem Reap at around 2pm. It is what it is for what it is next to - the Temples of Angkor. The lure of the ancient temples has seen a tourism boom here, and plush hotels are springing up all over town. After dumping my stuff, I went for a wander around. This was a place I liked from the start. Cool little bars, great looking restaurants and not a tenth of the hassles and annoyances of Phnom Penh.