killing fields

Lonely Planet describes Phnom Penh thus: 'It's exotic, it's chaotic, it's beguiling, it's distressing, it's compulsive, it's repulsive.'

This guide may be rubbish at recommending hotels, but it's spot on with its description of the Cambodian capital. This really is a place that has the capacity to exhilarate you and appall you in equal measure.

Today I went out to the Killing Fields, the scene of where Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge infamously murdered thousands and thousands of their own people after gaining control of the country in the 1970s.

The most chilling part is, obviously, the skulls piled on top of each other. You can detect how some people were killed - bullet wounds can be seen on some skulls. Others were beaten over the head to death to save bullets. Some people were actually buried alive - presumably to save on the effort of having to do anything at all.

It was, as you would expect, a pretty chilling sight. The rest of the fields, as they are now, do not give the impression of having been the place where genocide on an unbelievable scale was committed. In fact the place is very peaceful. Then occasionally you come across a sign that informs you of what was there previously, such as the place children were beaten to death against a tree.

As I walked around learning about the history of Cambodia, I was also given an uncomfortable insight into its present. Around a dozen or so children, who couldn't have been older than around six, incessantly begged me and other tourists for money. Begging by children is rife here - I estimate to have been approached by more than 30 a day - and it is really, really upsetting to say no to kids growing up in such poverty. But say no you have to - if I paid each of them and all the adult beggars here that come up to you, I could easily spend up to 100 US$ a day in handouts. The scale of the problem really is that high here. Plus the kids are often doing the work of the parents, who don't share the money they earn with them and deprive them of a school education in the process. It's a wretched situation, and although tourists are told they make it worse by giving into child beggars, that doesn't stop me from feeling like the biggest c**t in the world when I say no to them. And all of this was going on as I walked through fields where these kids' grandparents may well have been butchered.

As my taxi drove me away from the fields, I reflected on my experience so far in Cambodia and what I had just seen. On the one hand, this is a country on the up. Tourist numbers are increasing and with that comes greater prosperity. The people here are also genuinely warm, friendly and do tend to leave you alone if you don't want to get into a bloody taxi. That said, there are some huge problems.

I mentioned begging by kids. Well there's also begging from the disfigured and the maimed - victims of the thousands of landmines that remain in Cambodia following the civil war. Some of these people are also very young.

Whilst walking back to my hotel last night, I also got another insight into some of the more unsavoury activities out here. As endless people offered me taxis or motorbikes, one guy also asked if I wanted 'young girl'. I just walked away from the guy as quickly as I could, something I now regret as I should have reported him to somebody. I don't even want to speculate as to who his client was or how he knew her. Then shortly after that, another guy asked me if I wanted any 'Charlie'. Again I carried on walking as fast as I could. Cocaine in Cambodia has quite a reputation - for not being cocaine. What they sell is apparently in most cases very pure heroin. Bung that up your hooter and it may well be the last thing you do, as many backpackers find to their cost every year. The shocking thing is the people selling this shit must know it, but don't seem to care.

After visiting the killing fields I was driven to a museum of the genocide - a former prison. It is here you can see pictures of many of the dead, and even look at the clothes they wore or the conditions they lived in before they were murdered. I didn't hang around that long. There really is only so much human suffering I can spend an afternoon witnessing.

After all that, it's fair to say I needed a beer. I made my way to the Foreign Correspondents' Club - an expat hangout for journalists, diplomats and travellers. As I sat on the balcony looking out onto the river and the traffic below, a heavy rain storm lashed down down on the street with incredible ferocity. Then, after the rain had cleared, a main guided an elephant down the street, which merrily shat all over the floor while tourists laughed and took pictures.

Yup. Phnom Penh. It's beguiling, it's distressing and everything else Lonely Planet said. It's also, without question, unique and unforgettable. I'm now off to a restaurant in an old french colonial building for dinner...

Stop Press: I've just had my first Khmer style meal. It was an incredible mix of what you would call typical Asian food and other cultures, principally French. My starter was a massive plate of spicy sauage meat, huge chunks of garlic, ginger, red onion and chilli - accompanied by a Thai style salad. The main course was billed as noodles with pork, but came cold and in a salad dressing. The meal was at times delightful, and at others regugnant. The restaurant was lovely and relaxing, but full of loud Aussies. Yet again this city manages to to touch every emotion...

On my way from the restaurant to this internet cafe - where I am checking details of later destinations - I have again been offered various drugs by about six people in the space of two minutes. I think it's about time I retired to my hotel room to watch BBC World and have a welcome diet of unpredictability...

Phnom Penh

My flight from Bangkok to Phnom Penh was delayed by almost half an hour while we waited for the last passenger to bother to get on board. I've never really understood why they don't just stop people who are so late from getting on and remove their bags from the plane rather than disrupting the journeys of hundreds of others.

We were baking in the Bangkok heat while hanging around on the runway with the doors open for this person. He eventually got on the plane - looking worse for wear - and then out of all of the possible places on the plane he could have sat, he plonked himself down next to me. He immediately thrust out his hand and introduced himself and, although I'd like to think I'm a sociable kind of person, I really wasn't in the mood for this.

'Fuck me! I really thought I was going to miss this flight. Can't see why the staff are so pissed off though, these planes never leave on time. Where have you been travelling so far?
'I landed in Singapore about 10 days ago. Then I made my way up on the train through Malaysia and to some of the southern islands in Thailand. Not sure where I'll go after Cambodia yet.'
'How have you found Pattaya?'
'I haven't been there.'
'Isn't that where we are now?'
'No. We're in Bangkok.'

This guy was so out of it he didn't know where we were or what day it was. But, to be fair, he actually turned out to be a nice enough bloke with his heart in the right place. I've come across numerous people like him in Asia before - old style caners in their 40s who love to get out of it and enjoy all the temptations this part of the world can offer. It beats working for a living back home in their eyes, and every day invariably throws up some kind of memorable incident. He regaled me with stories about past visits to Cambodia. One included the sight of half a human body being dragged through the street by motorbike. An other was about eight monks murdering a tourist who stole something. 'This place is fucking mental. Be careful,' he advised.

My friend then turned the conversation to sex.

'Have you been going with the girls out here?'
'No.'
'Oh right. Have you got a girlfriend back home then?'
'No. They're just not my type.'

He looked at me as if I was mad. Obviously the thought someone could come to this part of the world for something other than sex just couldn't register.

It took less than an hour to get to Phnom Penh. After landing in the Cambodian capital, I had to complete some visa related bureaucracy before a driver from my hotel collected me. The first thing that struck me was the overwhelming heat - 35 degrees...

The journey from the airport to my hotel took around half an hour. It was quickly clear that Phnom Penh was utterly unlike some of the more developed parts of South East Asia. The roads seemed complete chaos and the streets incredibly ramshackle. I took an instant liking to the place.

I checked into my hotel around 5.30ish and have just spent a pleasant few hours drinking the local brew in various riverside bars for less than 50p a go. This place is quite underdeveloped, the hotels are very basic and there is a lot of poverty. That all said, there is something quite infectous about it. The people are incredibly warm, and I feel a billion times happier to be here than in the 'comforts' of faceless resorts like Phuket.

Bangkok

I'm currently sat in an internet cafe at Bangkok airport while I await my flight to Phnom Penh

If there is one thing I dislike about travelling, it is extremely early starts to the day.

Today I was awoken at 6.15am to get a taxi to Phuket Airport. I felt like shit, despite having a quiet one the previous evening. This time of the day is totally and utterly alien to me. The taxi left the hotel at 7am and it took us nearly an hour to reach the airport, a journey which would have been shorter if the driver hadn't bizarrely stopped at a petrol station to look at sunglasses for a few minutes. But buy no petrol...

Everything at the airport was quick and efficient, and it wasn't long before I was on board the 8.50 Air Asia flight to Bangkok. Although the journey was fine and afforded some great views, I couldn't stop yawning and felt generally awful.

Shortly after we landed in Bangkok, I was puking into a bin while waiting for my luggage, which has to go down as one of the more unedifying things I have done of late. After more spewing in the bogs, it became apparent that I was suffering from more than just a case of drowsiness. Indeed the four hours I then spent waiting for my flight to Phonom Penh included bouts of stomach pain.

A quick trip to Boots - yes, they are out here as well - and the purchase of a few tablets later, I started to feel better. In truth, it hadn't been a bad few hours waiting in any case. Bangkok's airport is vast, comfortable and spectacularly modern. In many ways it is a symbol of how this part of the world is becoming so increasingly competitive and successful.

in place of beauty

Ok. It's official. Phi Phi island is officially the most beautiful place I have ever been to. Gorgeous beaches, stunningly clear blue sea, fabulous food, amazing bars and affordable accommodation. Leaving would be difficult.

But leave is what I did do on Sunday morning after four nights on an island I could happily be stranded on forever. I spent Saturday afternoon floating in the sea, the evening on the beach sipping cocktails and watching various fire juggling antics. A big part of me wanted to stay, but I was concerned that the remaining two weeks of the holiday would just degenerate into one big piss up on the beach followed by another - and nothing else.

I caught the 9am boat over to Phuket, which was pretty damn horrific. The sea was choppy and the boat reeked of petrol. I spent the entire journey sipping water and trying not to puke up.

We arrived in Phuket at around 11am, where a taxi bus was waiting to take me on to Patong beach and my hotel. I had heard conflicting reports about Phuket, ranging from the indifferent to the incandescent. To be honest, I hadn't planned on making this place part of my trip. It just seemed easier to stop here a night before making my way up to Cambodia - the next destination - rather than trying to do it all from Phi phi in one day.

It was not long before I was yearning to return to Phi Phi. I took an instant dislike to Phuket the moment I got there. It seemed shabby, tacky and frequented by fat Germans. Which it, erm, is.

After checking in at my admittedly decent hotel, I went for a stroll. After four days of generally being left to my own devices, it was a bit disconcerting to get the full on Thai hussler treatment from all and sundry trying to flog taxis, t-shirts, speed boats and sex. I could not walk more than 30 seconds without someone trying to sell me something. I accept this is the way things are here, but the people I encountered today were insufferable. Women offering 'massages' - hookers, basically - would literally try and block me from walking down the pavement by thrusting their breasts into me. Blokes would try and shake your hand in an attempt to strike up a sales pitch for some dodgy bit of electrical equipment, and would become indignant when you refused...

Phuket is the Benidorm and Blackpool of Thailand. I thank God for the fact I have only to spend one night in this place. It really is just a sprawl of chain outlets and resorts catering for the desires of fat people.

It's funny how beach towns always bring out such conflictingly strong emotions in people. You can love a seaside place as much as another person hates it in a ferocity that doesn't exist when we talk about resorts. Maybe I'm just staying in a crap bit of Phuket and elsewhere lies destinations to die for, but I won't be hanging around to find out.

Off to Cambodia in the morning. What I would give to be back on Phi Phi though...

tits out

For some reason my camera has stopped working. It will turn on, I can view pictures - but am not allowed to take any more. Utterly bizarre. I would consult the instructions, but they are in Japanese as I bought the phone in Tokyo, and I threw them away in Sydney.

On the up side my phone has decided to start working again. I have no idea why or how. Anyway, without the ability to take new pictures - I plan to buy a new camera when I get to Phuket or Bangkok - I leave you instead with a promo for The Beach. The reason being, of course, that it was filmed here on Phi Phi.

The film must go a long way to explaining the high number of American tourists on this island. Of all the places I've been in Asia, I've never come across so many yanks. It's sad in a way that it takes an American film to get people from a country where just 12 per cent of the population even have passports to visit somewhere. Mind you it was Lord of the Rings that made me want to visit New Zealand.

Got absolutely shit faced last night and had a marvellous time. The atmosphere here is great - people just wander around the narrow streets, sipping beer and generally enjoying themselves. I sat on the beach for ages and just stared out at the moonlight water and the stunning surroundings. It was, for want of a better phrase, fucking orgasmic. In my drunken state, I started to ponder whether or not I should just stay here for another week rather than a few days. Perhaps I should forget other planned destinations, chill out here and then head over to the full moon party on Ko Pha Nang on June 18. Tempting and appealing as it sounds, I remain determined to visit Cambodia and Vietnam.

Spent today on the beach. The weather was glorious. I was amazed by the amount of British and Irish girls sunbathing topless. Amazed because anyone who has done even the most basic of research into visiting this part of the world will know it really isn't the done thing over here. The locals won't say anything - they want your money and custom too much - but are probably offended. Why do women have to get their tits out, exactly? I might be wrong, but I'm guessing they are not going to parade them on the High Street back home, so why the need to tan them? I've managed to avoid the need or urge to wander around with my cock out on the beach while on holiday, so why can't birds do the same with their baps? Also, while I have about as much sexual interest in a pair of tits as I do in a tortoise, I can't help but stare at them when someone has them out. This can lead to very uncomfortable situations where women ponder whether or not I'm perving them up. Just put the jugs away, girls, please.

Have seen quite a few Thai blokes walking around in Man City shirts, obviously due to their ex PM now owning the club. He's even opened up a club shop in Bangkok. I can think of many, many things I would like to do while in this country. Visiting a Man City shop ain't one of them.

paradise

I checked out of my 'paradise' hotel after just one night. There was no way on earth I was going to repeat the late night walk back to it again, which was more akin to something you normally see on the Discovery channel.

After catching a taxi boat to the main village, I sauntered over to the imposing looking Hotel Phi Phi to see if they had any rooms. After a bit of a queue, I landed a great room with a glorious view (see picture above), huge balcony, good facilities, close to all the bars and restaurants. And it was cheaper.

I then spent the afternoon just strolling around this absurdly beautiful island. It is a place of such immaculate gorgeousness I did very little other than just glare at the surroundings for much of the day. Certainly the hassle of damaging my phone last night quickly receded from memory. In a place like this, you could tell me I was the lovechild of Richard Littlejohn and I wouldn't care. Ok that might be pushing it a bit...

take me to my beach

If there is one thing I have discovered during my various trips around the World, it is that the advice offered in Lonely Planet guides is more often than not complete bollocks.

Allow me to offer my latest case for the prosecution. The South East Asia Lonely Planet recommended only three hotels to stay in on Phi Phi Island, one of which is the affordable and pleasant sounding Paradise Resort. As I didn't have the time to trawl through lots of web sites to decide where to stay, I plumped for this option...

I arrived by boat taxi. The resort is on a beautiful white sanded beach, and the word 'paradise' is completely in keeping with its location. The facilities certainly were not, and my 'Superior' room was easily the worst of the hotels that I have stayed in thus far. It is not, however, this that was the problem. I am on a budget and thus cannot have expensive tastes.

After dumping my bag and a quick shower, I set off along the beach towards the island's main village. There are no roads or cars in Phi Phi - the whole place is a national park. As the clear blue sea lapped over my tired feet on the glorious white beach, I struggled to think of a more spectacular setting I had ever seen in my life. Then as the beach went round a corner, I noticed I had to climb over quite a lot of rocks in order to progress further. A lot of rocks. Then after walking further along the beach there were more rocks. This was going to be interesting to negotiate later on...

After a fantastic meal on a beach side restaurant, I knocked back quite a few Chang beers in a lively little bar. It was good fun. A couple of English gay boys were running around the place in bras and other items of women's clothing they had obviously stolen from someone's balcony, for which they were rewarded with free shot after free shot from the bar staff. Perhaps I should try that in the bars around Westminster after work, or maybe even next time I'm back in Norfolk...

Anyway, although I had a decent night, I couldn't relax properly because I was worried about the walk back to my hotel. Ar 10pm I called it a night and decided to head back. Surely they couldn't expect people to negotiate the route I took in the pitch dark. Surely they would have realised people would want to go into town at night and would have some kind of safe route back...

An hour later I was wading through a forest swearing to myself at the top of my voice. There was indeed a different way back, but quite frankly it would have been better if I had fucking swam it. I managed to climb over most of the rocks - albeit with difficulty - using my phone as a torch. Then I slipped and fell into shallow water. With my phone in my hand. It very quickly died on me...

As my mood switched from one of determination to get back to blind fury, I noticed the next set of rocks I had to negotiate were deep under water now as the tide had come in. There was no way I was going to risk that. Although I had just slipped, the rocks were not sharp and the water was shallow. There was never going to be any danger there, but this was very different.

As I contemplated going back and finding another hotel, I noticed there was a lit pathway going up the side of the inland rock face. It was clearly an alternative route, but it was so steep you basically had to pull yourself up the side of it by rope. I didn't allow myself time to think about it and just clambered my way up. At the top, I then had to wade through forest land and all sorts of weird and wonderful insects running all over the place. Then there was another rope, to help you down the other side. It was like some absurd activity in fucking I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

Finally, I made it back to the hotel. Without a functioning phone. I poured myself a gigantic glass of Thai brandy and resolved to check out of this place in the morning.

ko phi phi

Woke up this morning, checked out of my Krabi hotel and had absolutely nowhere to go.

I had tried to book a hotel on the internet the previous night on the nearby island of Ko Phi Phi, but no confirmation had come through and I was basically stranded. Eventually I tracked down a phone number for where I wanted to stay and just rang them to make the arrangements. Quite why I didn't do this in the first place, I have no idea.

I liked Krabi, but not its nightlife. As it's the low season, there are fewer tourists and this subsequently makes the locals even more desperate for your trade. I couldn't walk for five seconds without someone asking if I wanted to come into their restaurant, jump into a taxi or hire a bloody motorbike. And if I did venture into some of the better looking bars, a plethora of Thai girls would swarm around me and try to make conversation. Even when it became obvious I wasn't that interested in having a pointless chat in broken English with them, they would then suggest playing a game like Connect 4 or something. It was easier just to drink in my hotel room.

Despite some of the annoyances, this is a beautiful part of the world and the people are very nice. They are just dependant on you to make a living. Last night while in an internet cafe I witnessed some appalling racial abuse aimed at the local owner by an English guy who decided to take issue with being charged an insignificant amount of money for something trivial like printing a document. Egged on by his mate, he shouted until the Thai guy relented and waived the 20 baht charge (20 bahts is roughly 30p). As they left, the poor guy was subjected to various insults starting with the word 'black' and ending with other words such as those used to describe somebody without a father. It was disgraceful. I felt guilty for not saying anything, and it is at times like this I really wish I was hard as nails, could beat people like that up and then leave a little calling card in their pocket informing them they'd just been done over by a poof. Unfortunately I haven't had a fight since I was 14 and don't think I would have come out of it looking my best.

Anyway, anyway, I got the boat over to Phi Phi this afternoon. This is a stunningly beautiful island, and I am looking forward to a few days of total relaxation...

krabi

In the last 24 hours I have ate fantastic food, guzzled lots of cheap booze, marvelled at incredible views, been harassed by prostitutes and have visited the bog so many times I've used up two toilet rolls.

Yup, I'm in Thailand. At Ao Nang beach in Krabi, to be precise, and enjoying every minute. After a shit load of travelling since I left London last Thursday - which seems like an age away - it's nice to be at a beach resort where I don't have to do anything.

It's really quiet here, which is nice in a way and eerie in another. The place has dozens of hotels, but it's the low season and not very busy. This benefits me as I am staying in a really nice hotel for less than 20 quid a night, but also means some bars and restaurants are almost deserted in the evening.

I'm staying here for one more night (Tuesday)before getting the boat over to Ko Phi Phi. Although it is probably a bit too quiet for my liking, I'm not missing the hordes of 'Britpackers'. A conversation I had with one on the way here yesterday confirmed that much for me. It was with a girl called Kelly, aged 20 and from Blackpool, travelling with her boyfriend Dave, also 20, and from Birmingham. She asked where I was going to after Krabi.

'I'll probably visit some of the islands for a week or so, then I might get a flight from Phuket straight over to Cambodia, if I can.'

'We've been to Cambodia. If you go to Siam Reap and do the temples and stuff, trust me you only need one day there.'

'Really? The Temples of Angkor have been called the eighth wonder of the world. Most people say you need a few days there.'

'Yeah, but when you've seen one temple you've seen em' all, know what I mean?'

It's not often that I'm lost for words, but on this occasion I was. Presumably if this person ever visited the Great Wall of China it would be a waste of time, because obviously if you've seen one wall, you've seen them all. Travel really is lost on these people.

Anyway, I've not exactly had a cultural day myself. Unless you count views like the one in the above photo while I sip cocktails...

my arse hurts

I thought that would get your attention.

Anyway, almost 22 hours it took me to get from Kuala Lumpur to Krabi. 22 fucking hours.

I set off from KL at 20.45 on Sunday having had a very brief but enjoyable stop in Malaysia's capital city. I was getting the overnight sleeper train up into Thailand, and I felt an almost school boyish excitement about it all. This would be the first time I had ever slept in a bed on public transport, and I was intrigued to see what it would be like. If that makes sense.

At first glance, my coach seemed seemed utterly uninviting. It was made up of long rows of double decker bunk beds, and I wondered what kind of experience I was letting myself in for. In fact it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable journeys I have ever had. Although the carriage was a glorified dormitory, I could draw a curtain which gave me complete privacy and allowed me to retreat into my own little world (see pic above). As the train chugged its way into the Malaysian night, I chilled out on the bed listening to my ipod, reading a book and knocking back vodka and cokes...

I didn't sleep that well due to the train stopping and starting a lot, but I was so grateful to be in a bed. How I had longed for this comfort over the years on flights and other unbearable journeys.

I woke up around 7ish and my first sight was an amazing view of the Malaysian countryside. It was glorious, but I was conscious of the fact we had another four hours to go before we reached our destination and so I had to - perversely - lay on my other side, turn my back on the view and mentally pretend I was somewhere else in order to get back to sleep!

After some predictably over complicated bureaucratic crap at the Thai border, we eventually arrived at the town of Hat Yai around noon. This is the town for getting connecting buses to various islands, and it was immediately obvious the place had little else going for it.

As I came out of the station, I teamed up with a fellow traveller who was heading the same place as me - Krabi, near Ko Phi Phi and Phuket - and set about finding transport. We settled on a bus company opposite the station, who sold us seats on a soon to depart bus to Krabi which we were reliably informed would arrive at our destination in four hours...

Six hours later I was sat on the back of a rickshaw -still not at my destination - after the twat of a driver basically couldn't be arsed to complete the final leg of the journey and bundled us into a taxi. After almost a complete day travelling, it was a pretty uncomfortable experience. Hence the fact my arse hurts.

It had not been a pleasant bus ride. Fortunately, I was with a girl from Brighton who provided a few comedy moments. She had just been to the Borneo jungle, and so I asked what it had been like as this had been somewhere I'd contemplated visiting...

'Fucking full on, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out. I couldn't work out what I was doing there - other than to tell people I'd been to a jungle - and call me an untypical traveller if you like, but I got sick and fucking tired of pulling leaches off my neck and having toads jump on my tits in the shower.'

Not to self - jungles are not your bag.