I got outrageously pissed on Tuesday night - my final day on Ko Samui before heading over to the island of Ko Pha Ngan. It was a fun night, during which I was befriended by a group of travellers from Gloucester. Some of them were over here for their fifth time. There is definitely something about the place - it's beauty, it's atmosphere - that is compulsive and addictive.
The boat to Ko Pha Ngan takes roughly an hour, and there can be few journeys in the world that are as picturesque as this one. I felt very relaxed as I looked out across the clear blue sea. I had a hotel booked for the next four nights and could look forward to doing as much, or little, as I wanted. I reserved online a room at the same hotel I stayed in here four years ago. It was a place I had very fond memories of. I recalled its affordable comfort, beautiful location and friendly staff. This would be the perfect way to end my trip, and I even splashed out on a premium room with a few little extras to make the experience that much better.
After a quick spot of lunch, I caught a taxi to the hotel. It felt good to be back. When I arrived, I presented a copy of my e-mailed reservation confirmation and waited to be handed the requisite forms that need to be filled in. For some reason the receptionist appeared concerned, and called over to another member of staff. Eventually, after lots of frantic talking in Thai, they hit me with a bombshell. There was no record of my reservation and the hotel was fully booked. I just laughed at them - they were holding in their hands an e-mail I had received confirming that I had a room. What they then claimed is that I had not booked it through the official means - that the e-mail address was not theirs, it was someone pretending to work on behalf of the hotel. Apparently other people had fallen victim to this scam. The manager urged me to ring my credit card company to check no money had been taken. Scarcely able to believe what was going on, I duly rang Halifax. No money had been fraudulently taken by this hotel or anyone else. While this was a relief, I still faced the problem of this hotel being fully booked. On the night of the full moon party. A night when thousands descend on Ko Pha Ngan and accommodation is scarce...
I sat with my head in my hands wondering how on earth this had happened. The whole point of arranging a room for four days well in advance was to prevent this. I did not know what to do or where to go. To be fair, the hotel staff were very helpful. The manager gave me a big bottle of water, put her arm around me and suggested a way forward. I could stay in a room for the afternoon to rest and shower, go to the party and then check into my own room as soon as one became free the next day. In the circumstances, it seemed the only option I had...
I was taken up to a room close and similar to the one one I stayed in four years ago. It didn't look like it had been cleaned since. The bed sheets were dirty and smelt foisty. The air conditioning was more noisy than an aircraft hanger. Would I actually want to stay here anyway?
At around 5pm I headed down to get some dinner. Food is always comforting when things go a bit pear shaped on travel. As I ordered a beer, I reflected on the contrast between the first time I had been here and now. Back in 2004 I sat here for three days and marvelled at the clear blue sea, knocking back beer after beer with my companion Raj. Now I was without a room, and a group of chavs were playing some utterly awful rap music on the cd player. Behind me were a group of Aussie guys, who were also incredibly irritating. Virtually every single sentence they spoke contained the word 'fucking'. Pass the fucking ketchup. What time does the fucking party start? I want a fucking beer. I need the keys to the fucking room.
I'm the last person in the world to offer lectures on bad language. What annoyed me about these guys was that the over-use of swear words devalues them and renders them meaningless. If I say I've got fucking pissed, it means seriously pissed. Not some run of the mill night. Likewise, I try my best to call people cunts only when it is absolutely appropriate so it carries impact. Therefore I would like to say that these three antipodean gentlemen were, without any doubt whatsoever, complete and utter cunts.
After an average meal, I decided to try and find somewhere else to stay. The atmosphere and everything else was just not right here. What worked for me in 2004 wasn't doing so in 2008. If I had to do without a hotel tonight then fine - I would be at the party all night and could save some money.
Five minutes later I stumbled across a funky and modern looking hotel on the beach. A lively crowd were gathered by the pool and the facilities looked excellent. I went to reception and inquired about getting a room. They could only offer me a very basic air conditioned room for tonight, but after that I could move into another with better facilities - and all for less than I would have paid at the place I tried to book. I paid there and then and checked in. After all that crap I was now in a better hotel, paying less and could go off to the party...
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