my arse hurts

I thought that would get your attention.

Anyway, almost 22 hours it took me to get from Kuala Lumpur to Krabi. 22 fucking hours.

I set off from KL at 20.45 on Sunday having had a very brief but enjoyable stop in Malaysia's capital city. I was getting the overnight sleeper train up into Thailand, and I felt an almost school boyish excitement about it all. This would be the first time I had ever slept in a bed on public transport, and I was intrigued to see what it would be like. If that makes sense.

At first glance, my coach seemed seemed utterly uninviting. It was made up of long rows of double decker bunk beds, and I wondered what kind of experience I was letting myself in for. In fact it turned out to be one of the most enjoyable journeys I have ever had. Although the carriage was a glorified dormitory, I could draw a curtain which gave me complete privacy and allowed me to retreat into my own little world (see pic above). As the train chugged its way into the Malaysian night, I chilled out on the bed listening to my ipod, reading a book and knocking back vodka and cokes...

I didn't sleep that well due to the train stopping and starting a lot, but I was so grateful to be in a bed. How I had longed for this comfort over the years on flights and other unbearable journeys.

I woke up around 7ish and my first sight was an amazing view of the Malaysian countryside. It was glorious, but I was conscious of the fact we had another four hours to go before we reached our destination and so I had to - perversely - lay on my other side, turn my back on the view and mentally pretend I was somewhere else in order to get back to sleep!

After some predictably over complicated bureaucratic crap at the Thai border, we eventually arrived at the town of Hat Yai around noon. This is the town for getting connecting buses to various islands, and it was immediately obvious the place had little else going for it.

As I came out of the station, I teamed up with a fellow traveller who was heading the same place as me - Krabi, near Ko Phi Phi and Phuket - and set about finding transport. We settled on a bus company opposite the station, who sold us seats on a soon to depart bus to Krabi which we were reliably informed would arrive at our destination in four hours...

Six hours later I was sat on the back of a rickshaw -still not at my destination - after the twat of a driver basically couldn't be arsed to complete the final leg of the journey and bundled us into a taxi. After almost a complete day travelling, it was a pretty uncomfortable experience. Hence the fact my arse hurts.

It had not been a pleasant bus ride. Fortunately, I was with a girl from Brighton who provided a few comedy moments. She had just been to the Borneo jungle, and so I asked what it had been like as this had been somewhere I'd contemplated visiting...

'Fucking full on, I couldn't wait to get the fuck out. I couldn't work out what I was doing there - other than to tell people I'd been to a jungle - and call me an untypical traveller if you like, but I got sick and fucking tired of pulling leaches off my neck and having toads jump on my tits in the shower.'

Not to self - jungles are not your bag.